I am fascinated with how the unfinished business in my soul has shown up recently. The question I am left with is, how do I continue to stay present with myself as I continue to grow, not turning away from my pain, and not turning away from my own captainship for healing it. Paying attention to the conglomerate of inner figures that step in when my inner child is threatened, and their reactions to the perceived threat, opens up a door to deep self-compassion.
I was telling my dear friends T and M about a fantasy from my childhood, where the child Monica who feels herself to be invisible and powerless is discovered by a powerful media showman. Today I have to choose rewriting the narrative. Choose to remember that the power is not in any other, but within myself. It is I who choose to become visible, or not—I who choose to heal, or not—I who choose to believe my own needs are important, and create conditions so that they are met, or not. I have to choose being okay with the parts of me that are still crying. Choose showing them the big community within me that is always, already there for them. Choose accepting the slow unfolding, the slow unfurling, and all the unexpected ways in which the soul deepens into its longings.
As a society, as a community and conglomerate of many communities, we are getting ready to flex our own choices, already making choices, about the acceptance and responsibility of our own power. Here is to the days that will come, and the nights that will come. May we be ready. May we sit closer to each other around the fire, may we light the fire.
Here is to our big, growing heart. Here is to the world that we are becoming as we become ourselves and choose ourselves.